Where did you get a picture of my penis
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Slut skills are useful in every country.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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