how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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