i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
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I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
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Like the friend zone has no room for winks
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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