No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
