I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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