Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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