Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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