Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
