Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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