My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
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