you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
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She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
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Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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