Are we in a gay sports bar?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
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