question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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