she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
