You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
