I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
