I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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