Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
