you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
