My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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