on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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