I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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