last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
