Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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