"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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