at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
