i already hear my dad disowning me
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
