Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
