You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
