I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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