Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Still dying that you shit outside
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
