Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
