so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
