i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
