Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
