Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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