I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize