If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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