If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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