maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
