I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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