I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
the condom got lost in my hair
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
We are two peas in an std pod
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize