I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
