batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
