lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i will never coherently bang her
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
