Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting married
To pizza
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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