I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
