We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
