Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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