I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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