i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Is Oprah even human
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
